Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
