Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize