Who did Billy Mays play for?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
