so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Blood and glitter go together right?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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