Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
