Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
