the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
It's official drugs can't kill me
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Dicks are not precious.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
