literally had 100 drinks last night.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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