My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
