2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
