member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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