jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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