Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
