bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
