You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
