just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
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It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
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HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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