Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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