So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
