used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
