question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
You can't just leave with hair like that
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
