Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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