So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
