I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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