I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
