So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
