so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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