Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
