But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
