i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Randomize
