Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
