I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
