FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
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