Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
