It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
