omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I look better un-naked...
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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