Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
