even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
