If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
