At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Randomize
