the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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