What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I want to be your penis for a week.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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