Nicole vs. Life
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
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