Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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