My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
