Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
