Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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