Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
In America we eat man semen.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
