my phone needs a breathalizer
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
