So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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