Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
