'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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