I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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