There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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