Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
