I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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