called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
