Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
