Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Randomize
