dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
