I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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