It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
As shirtless as possible
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
